i'm courtney.
park city, ut/washington, dc



"there's a point where you make that decision to do it and there's no going back. after that it's just total focus, tunnel vision. boom. you light the wick and you go."

12/15/2012; I'll always love you Aleks, rest in peace.

insta: ceezer24
newschoolers: courtneyyy

"No matter how careful you are, there’s going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn’t experience it all. There’s that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should’ve been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That’s how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice."
Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

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"The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. If you can change the way people think. The way they see themselves. The way they see the world. You can change the way people live their lives. That’s the only lasting thing you can create."
Chuck Palahniuk

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"What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction."
Chuck Palahniuk

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"We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will."
Chuck Palahniuk

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"The idea that I can’t share my problems with other people makes me not give a shit about their problems."
Chuck Palahniuk

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"People fall so in love with their pain, they can’t leave it behind. The same as the stories they tell. We trap ourselves."
Chuck Palahniuk (Haunted)

(Source: thenocturnals, via santeriia)

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"I want out of the labels. I don’t want my whole life crammed into a single word. A story. I want to find something else, unknowable, some place to be that’s not on the map. A real adventure.
A spinx. A mystery. A blank. Unknown. Undefined."
Chuck Palahniuk

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"That’s the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life."
Chuck Palahniuk

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"Most times, it’s just a lot easier not to let the world know what’s wrong."
Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

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"We’ll never be as young as we are tonight."
Chuck Palahniuk

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"It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace."
Chuck Palahniuk

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"You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past."
Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

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"When we die, these are the stories still on our lips. The stories we’ll only tell strangers, someplace private in the padded cell of midnight. These important stories, we rehearse them for years in our head but never tell. These stories are ghosts, bringing people back from the dead. Just for a moment. For a visit. Every story is a ghost."
Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

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"Fuck me. I’m so tired of being me. Me beautiful. Me ugly. Blonde. Brunette. A million fucking fashion makeovers that only leave me trapped being me. Who I was before the accident is just a story now. Everything before now, before now, before now, is just a story I carry around. I guess that would apply to anybody in the world. What I need is a new story about who I am. What I need to do is fuck up so bad I can’t save myself."
Chuck Palahniuk

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