Do you ever just want something to work so badly? For something to work out for once? But then everything’s off and nothing is right and the timing is shit and you don’t even know which way is up? Yeah, that’s how I feel right now.
Things I learned last night:
- Letting your drunk friend edit your drunk texts is pretty much the same as sending a drunk text. So you might as well just send it and skip the friend editing.
- Being straightforward has its merits. You’re bound to find out info a lot quicker. Also helps if the person you are trying to get info from is a mature human being.
- Getting mad at your best guy friend for talking to his ex-girlfriend is generally frowned upon and considered “crazy bitch” behavior. Whoops.
- If anybody ever legit tells you “I don’t want to buy you a drink, sorry,” and then continues to try to talk to you, just punch them in the face. No bar etiquette.
- Wearing Converse to a bar, although not the trendiest option, is definitely the most comfortable and least dangerous.
- I come off as a “cold” person/disinterested bitch, but honestly it’s only because I want you to try a little harder. I’m not just gonna fling myself at you.
I am so tired of constantly being treated like shit/disrespected by guys. I don’t do anything wrong. I wish Aleks never died. He was the only decent guy I’ve ever been involved with.
Things I am doing:
- Accidentally turning into a crazy bitch
- Yep
- That’s pretty much it
I wish I could see all the good things I have in my life instead of only seeing the negatives. I always get wrapped up in little things which make me sad, even though they aren’t worth it. I’m constantly comparing myself to other people; if I didn’t do that I’d be so much happier because I’d just count all my blessings and not care if other people had something I didn’t or were better at something than me. I’m sick of being depressed all the time. I need to change, but I don’t really know how.
Analyzed my dream from the other night:
It’s spot on.
Tidal wave: To see a tidal wave in your dream represents an overwhelming emotional issue that demands your attention.
Car accident: To dream of a car accident symbolizes your emotional state. You may be harboring deep anxieties and fears.
Police car: To see a police car in your dream indicates that help is on the way for you. You are experiencing some inner turmoil and need intervention.
Forest: To dream that you are in or walking through the forest signifies a transitional phase. Follow your instincts. Alternatively, it indicates that you want to escape to a simpler way of life. You are feeling weighed down by the demands of your life.
Beach: To see the beach in your dream symbolizes the meeting between your two states of mind. The sand is symbolic of the rational and mental processes while the water signifies the irrational, unsteady, and emotional aspects of yourself. It is a place of transition between the physical/material and the spiritual. To dream that you are on the beach and looking out toward the ocean indicates unknown and major changes that are occurring in your life.
Dead: To see your dead sibling, relative, or friend in your dream indicates that you miss them and are trying to relive your old experiences you had with them. In trying to keep up with the pace of your daily waking life, your dreams may serve as your only outlet in coping and coming to terms with the loss of a loved one.
Also things that suck about being on Tumblr….
I feel like I’m incredibly old compared to the majority of the Tumblr population (which is probably false…maybe it’s just the people I follow) and everyone else is just like out having a great time with their lives and skiing and giving no fucks and meanwhile I’m over here struggling to get employed and worrying about debt and the cost of living and what the hell I’m going to do with my life.
So yeah now I get depressed because being a real person is not that fun. I always wanted to grow up when I was little…but now it’s just not even anything that I thought it would be.
~*~*~END RANT*~*~*~
I saw you again, it felt like we had never met. It’s like the sun set in your eyes and never wanted to rise. And what have you done with the one I love? When I look into your eyes, I see no surprise.
I always thought it was sad — the way we act like strangers. After all that we had, we act like we had never met.
We make believe, I’ve never seen your face; you neither mine. And catch my eye, don’t register a smile. You were more than just a friend. Oh, but the feeling it never came to an end, I can’t bear to see you.
"Letting go, even if it hurts, doesn’t mean you have to let go of everything. You just have to let go of the person and your feelings for them, but the memories will always be there whether it’s good or bad. Because everytime you remember those memories, it will always put a smile into your heart. And be glad that once in your life this person made you happy and put colors into your life, even if it was just for awhile."
Sometimes I worry that I’ll never truly feel love again. Not like love from your family, but the feeling of being in love. I don’t let myself feel too much anymore, because it always winds up in disaster. It’s sad but it’s true. I know it’s not good to build walls, but I’m worried about being hurt again. So I try not to let too many people in, especially guys. I always complain about being alone and it sucks, but it’s partially my fault too. Maybe if I could be more open, more comfortable…
I want to feel loved. I want to be adored. I want someone to feel the same way about me that I do about them. I don’t ask for much but I want something real. I’m tired of the bullshit that surrounds me, the manipulation, the talk. It’s not everyone, but it sure seems like a lot of people end up being the same, though they exhibit the characteristic differently. I want something worth my time and my energy and that hasn’t come along for a few years now. I feel like my vibes come off all wrong but I don’t know how to fix that and so I guess I just have to keep trying until something turns out right.
Being replaced sucks.
Doesn’t matter how long it’s been. Knowing that someone else found someone better than you…worthy enough to actually seriously date instead of just casually see. I deserve better anyway, but it doesn’t make me feel any less.
